Your wit makes others witty.
The more a man knows, the more he forgives.
I like to praise and reward in a loud voice and to scold in a whisper.
The title of Queen rang sweet to my ears, child though I was. … This idea of a crown began running in my head then like a tune, and has been running a lot in it ever since.
Tell a thousand people to draft a letter, let them debate every phrase, and see how long it takes and what you get.
All this is only for the mice and myself to admire!
I shall be an autocrat: that’s my trade. And the good Lord will forgive me: that’s his.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
I ran three miles today. Finally I said, Lady take your purse’
The anticipation for Tina playing Palin was so fun to witness, and she explains it well in her book Fifty Shades of Grey. She totally took on what was expected of her and it was awesome to stand next to her as she killed.
Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being called Wall Mart Street
I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.
[on Tina Fey] I like to say our relationship is as old as Lourdes Ciccone
I have won several prizes as the worlds slowest alto player, as well as a special award in 1961 for quietness.
No one goes there nowadays, it’s too crowded.
Well if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone.
I don’t mind what language an opera is sung in so long as it is a language I don’t understand.
I really do believe that anything in life – any obstacle or challenge – can be made better with humor.
I tried practicing for a few weeks and ended up playing too fast.
Communism must be like one big phone company.
The only Zen you find on the tops of mountains is the Zen you bring up there.
You know, as a comedian your body has to be I need to think of a better term than up for grabs but you kind of use whatever you have to get the laugh. And if youre worrying about how you look Vanity is the death of comedy.
