Your wit makes others witty.
Men make love more intensely at 20, but make love better, however, at 30.
Nothing is more difficult, in my opinion, than to avoid something that fundamentally attracts you.
For to tempt and to be tempted are things very nearly allied – whenever feeling has anything to do in the matter, no sooner is it excited than we have already gone vastly farther than we are aware of.
One does not always do the best there is. One does the best one can. – Catherine the Great
Don’t worry about things you cannot alter.
A great wind is blowing, and that gives you either imagination or a headache.
I remember Tina Fey wrote a play about Catherine the Great f**king a horse and I thought, ‘That lady is hot stuff, I wanna know her.’
No one goes there nowadays, it’s too crowded.
Communism must be like one big phone company.
I saw a bank that said ’24 Hour Banking’, but I don’t have that much time!
I ran three miles today. Finally I said, Lady take your purse’
No one looks stupid when they’re having fun!
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
It’s amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!
I have won several prizes as the worlds slowest alto player, as well as a special award in 1961 for quietness.
The secret source of humour itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humour in heaven.
The only Zen you find on the tops of mountains is the Zen you bring up there.
Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being called Wall Mart Street
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, ‘No hablo ingles.’
