Mel Brooks

It’s amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!

No one goes there nowadays, it’s too crowded.

I don’t mind what language an opera is sung in so long as it is a language I don’t understand.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Your wit makes others witty.

I saw a bank that said ’24 Hour Banking’, but I don’t have that much time!

There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.

You know, as a comedian your body has to be – I need to think of a better term than ‘up for grabs’ – but you kind of use whatever you have to get the laugh. And if you’re worrying about how you look… Vanity is the death of comedy.

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.

So I’m licking jelly off my boyfriend and all of a sudden, I’m thinking, ‘Oh my God, I’m turning into my mother.

The only Zen you find on the tops of mountains is the Zen you bring up there.

I tried practicing for a few weeks and ended up playing too fast.

I really do believe that anything in life – any obstacle or challenge – can be made better with humor.

I ran three miles today. Finally I said, ‘Lady take your purse’