You don’t just decide to destroy a person by making up stuff, and no one at ‘SNL’ is writing to go after someone.

He is great who is what he is from nature, and who never reminds us of others.

If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded.

When you sit with a nice girl for two hours, you think it’s only a minute. But when you sit on a hot stove for a minute, you think it’s two hours. That’s relativity.

I love the intellectual type. They know everything and suspect nothing.

To kill a relative of whom you are tired is something. But to inherit his property afterwards, that is genuine pleasure.

A mighty porterhouse steak an inch and a half thick, hot and sputtering from the griddle; dusted with fragrant pepper; enriched with little melting bits of butter of the most impeachable freshness and genuineness; the precious juices of the meat trickling out and joining the gravy, archipelagoed with mushrooms; a township or two of tender, yellowish fat gracing an out-lying district of this ample county of beefsteak; the long white bone which divides the sirloin from the tenderloin still in its place.

Under the Rule of Law…the individual is free to pursue his personal ends and desires, certain that the powers of government will not be used deliberately to frustrate his efforts.

Drama and crisis are currency to them because they love the power to make people react. They thrive on a good fight, a good scandal, a good drama.

Fear follows crime and is its punishment.

Wherever work is done, victory is attained.

The secret of ugliness consists not in irregularity, but in being uninteresting.

Most of them have gotten really good at saying absolutely nothing. They’ve all got some kind of program, but when you listen to them, you still don’t know what they’re talking about.

I was the editor of the school newspaper and in drama club and choir, so I was not a popular girl in the traditional sense, but I think I was known for being relatively scathing.

A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks.

Loving smart means believing in you, your worth and your value.

[on El Chapo interview] I have a terrible regret.

To do something, say something, see something, before anybody else – these are things that confer a pleasure compared with which other pleasures are tame and commonplace, other ecstasies cheap and trivial.

That which is false troubles the heart, but truth brings joyous tranquility.

With every word we utter, with every action we take, we know our kids are watching us. We as parents, are their most important role models.

I learned to play guitar on my lying back while I was bed-ridden. I only thought to record the songs because sometimes I would I couldn’t remember what I had just done. Eventually I started singing, because I thought if I sang it that would help to remember even more. But I wasn’t trying to sing. And then one day-this is really weird -I just wrote a song. It came out at a rapid rate and I recorded it and I listened back to it and was like ‘Wow, it’s a tune’.