Amy Poehler

I think I always feel like if everything went to shit, I would just teach improv at a theatre.

You know, as a comedian your body has to be – I need to think of a better term than ‘up for grabs’ – but you kind of use whatever you have to get the laugh. And if you’re worrying about how you look… Vanity is the death of comedy.

Be yourself. No one else can be you.

[on her mother] she’s a very smart, independent woman who was kind of coming into her own in the feminist movement of the 70s and 80s

The anticipation for Tina playing Palin was so fun to witness, and she explains it well in her book Fifty Shades of Grey. She totally took on what was expected of her and it was awesome to stand next to her as she killed.

[at the 2013 Golden Globe Awards] Meryl Streep is not here tonight. She has the flu and I hear she’s amazing in it.

The anticipation for Tina playing Palin was so fun to witness, and she explains it well in her book Fifty Shades of Grey. She totally took on what was expected of her and it was awesome to stand next to her as she killed.

No one goes there nowadays, it’s too crowded.

I don’t mind what language an opera is sung in so long as it is a language I don’t understand.

If the phone doesn’t ring, it’s me.

The secret source of humour itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humour in heaven.

I tried practicing for a few weeks and ended up playing too fast.

I ran three miles today. Finally I said, ‘Lady take your purse’

I have won several prizes as the world’s slowest alto player, as well as a special award in 1961 for quietness.

I took a speed reading course and read ‘War and Peace’ in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.

You know, as a comedian your body has to be – I need to think of a better term than ‘up for grabs’ – but you kind of use whatever you have to get the laugh. And if you’re worrying about how you look… Vanity is the death of comedy.

If it weren’t for my lawyer, I’d still be in prison. It went a lot faster with two people digging.

I saw a bank that said ’24 Hour Banking’, but I don’t have that much time!

It’s amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!

The only Zen you find on the tops of mountains is the Zen you bring up there.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.