Amy Poehler

Always remember your kid’s name. Always remember where you put your kid. Don’t let your kid drive until their feet can reach the pedals. Use the right size diapers … for yourself. And, when in doubt, make funny faces.

I like the person who commits and goes all in and takes big swings and then maybe fails; who jumps and falls down, rather than the person who points at the person who fell and laughs. But I do sometimes laugh when people fall down.

When your children arrive, your heart becomes a room with wide open windows.

I did not breeze in there thinking: ‘I’m going to nail this.’ My heart rate was not low when I was doing the Golden Globes. I wanted to do well. It’s very bizarre to be in a room where everybody in your audience is famous. But also: it’s an awards show!

[a metaphor for the end of her marriage] The process of divorce is about loading a blanket, throwing it up, watching it all spin, and worrying what stuff will break when it lands.

Women talk about stuff on the way to the valet that it takes men 10 years to admit to each other. The depth at which women talk to and about each other is invaluable to me. With your really, really close good friends you do that fast.

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

I believe in 100% Theory and 100% Practice. Theory without practical application is futile.

Buy what thou hast no Need of and ere long thou shalt sell thy Necessaries.

The world is more malleable than you think and it’s waiting for you to hammer it into shape.

We live in an era of tremendous facts. And the facts are facts. They are also unpleasant facts, which does not decrease their factual percentage one bit. Our job is to understand them, to recognize their presence, to learn if we can what they signify and not to fall into the error of minimizing facts because they have a bitter flavor.

If you’re interested in ‘balancing’ work and pleasure, stop trying to balance them. Instead make your work more pleasurable.

You never miss what you’ve never had. I never had any other life. I didn’t know any other life.

Don’t criticize what you can’t understand.

If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.

There are many who dare not kill themselves for fear of what the neighbors will say.

I am become death, shatterer of worlds.

You’ve got to teach youngsters the difference between right and wrong, but you shouldn’t try to poke it down their throats. Let them ask the questions and then give them the answers.

She had no need to ask why he had come. She knew as certainly as if he had told her that he was here to be where she was.

Smiling is one of the highest forms of meditation.

The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.