Jerry Seinfeld

Dogs have no money. Isn’t that amazing? They’re broke their entire lives. But they get through. You know why dogs have no money? … No pockets.

The gifted man bears his gifts into the world, not for his own benefit, but for the people among whom he is placed; for the gifts are not his, he himself is a gift to the community.

Sometimes, the only way to discover who you are or what life you should lead is to do less planning and more living…

I can’t understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.

Life’s three best teachers: heartbreak, empty pocket, failures.

The universe, at any given point, in any given time, is expanding indefinitely in all directions. So trust me when I say, ‘you are the center of mine.’

You have got to decide, look, this is who I am; this is my best way to present myself, and I’m going to ride that horse to the finish line. Not everybody will like it, but that’s OK.

People who consistently win have a clear and thoughtful strategy. They know what they need to do and when they need to do it. They write it down so they stay on course, and avoid any alternative that does not get them closer to the finish line.

The war is not meant to be won, it is meant to be continuous. Hierarchical society is only possible on the basis of poverty and ignorance.

A tiny leak can sink a ship.

The smart way to keep people passive and obedient is to strictly limit the spectrum of acceptable opinion, but allow very lively debate within that spectrum.

No matter what side of the argument you are on, you always find people on your side that you wish were on the other.

If you don’t know what it is you want – and I mean specifically – then you won’t even know when you have it.

The industrial value of leisure as a promoter of the consumption of goods, and thus as a stimulant to business have been proved.

There are four things every person has more of than they know; sins, debt, years, and foes.

The more you know, the more you realise how much you don’t know — the less you know, the more you think you know.