Mark Twain

I have not a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming vices.

The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.

I am admonished in many ways that time is pushing me inexorably along. I am approaching the threshold of age; in 1977 I shall be 142. This is no time to be flitting about the earth. I must cease from the activities proper to youth and begin to take on the dignities and gravities and inertia proper to that season of honorable senility which is on its way.

The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopts them.

Education is the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty.

There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one – keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy.

The more a thing tends to be permanent, the more it tends to be lifeless.

Most conversations are simply monologues delivered in the presence of witnesses.

Old guys can still do fun things.

Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for truth.

Ah, but I was so much older then, I’m younger than that now.

The Argument from Intimidation is a confession of intellectual impotence.

The South has a future which it can shape for itself, and avoid the mistakes which the more populous parts of the country have made.

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.

It is a fabulous country, the only fabulous country; it is the only place where miracles not only happen, but they happen all of the time.

I feel like I got a pile of cattle chasing my ass, and I’m pedaling as hard as I can to stay in front of ‘em. I’m looking behind me driving like hell.

Zen teaches that if we can open up to the inevitability of our demise, we can begin to transform and lighten up about it.

Love is knowing every goodbye has a hello on the horizon.

Every one knows that insufficient rest and gorging are not good for anyone, either physically or mentally.

I have 100 percent Bronx pride like it’s a country like I AM the Bronx.

Life is a full-contact sport, and there’s a score up on the board.