The Pause; that impressive silence, that eloquent silence, that geometrically progressive silence which often achieves a desired effect where no combination of words, however so felicitous, could accomplish it.
Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.
There it is: it doesn’t make any difference who we are or what we are, there’s always somebody to look down on! somebody to hold in light esteem, somebody to be indifferent about.
When the doctrine of allegiance to party can utterly up-end a man’s moral constitution and make a temporary fool of him besides, what excuse are you going to offer for preaching it, teaching it, extending it, perpetuating it? Shall you say, the best good of the country demands allegiance to party? Shall you also say it demands that a man kick his truth and his conscience into the gutter, and become a mouthing lunatic, besides?
All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure.
It is nobler to be good, and it is nobler to teach others to be good – and less trouble!
Nations do not think, they only feel. They get their feelings at second hand through their temperaments, not their brains. A nation can be brought – by force of circumstances, not argument – to reconcile itself to any kind of government or religion that can be devised; in time it will fit itself to the required conditions; later it will prefer them and will fiercely fight for them.
October. This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks in. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August, and February.
What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin
As a thinker and planner the ant is the equal of any savage race of men; as a self-educated specialist in several arts she is the superior of any savage race of men; and in one or two high mental qualities she is above the reach of any man, savage or civilized!
Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.
Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.
When you cannot get a compliment in any other way pay yourself one.
There are no people who are quite so vulgar as the over-refined.
I was young and foolish then; now I am old and foolisher.
What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce.
I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey.
We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it – and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again – and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.
It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.
If He Tom Sawyer had been a great and wise philosopher, like the writer of this book, he would now have comprehended that Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do and Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.
A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
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