Mark Twain

I would rather have my ignorance than another man’s knowledge, because I have so much of it.

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.

His money is twice tainted: taint yours and taint mine.

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.

Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

Don’t say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream.

I think you’re running into a lot of trouble if your idea of foreplay is, ‘Brace yourself honey, here I come!’

The partnership of mind and matter is one which has existed since the beginning of time and cannot be dissolved.

In this life you have to learn to get up because the road is full of stones.

Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for truth.

It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.

The truth is, I think we are a self-less society, not a selfish society. Because we’re so busy now.

Failure is no accident.

If I were required to guess off-hand, and without collusion with higher minds, what is the bottom cause of the amazing material and intellectual advancement of the last fifty years, I should guess that it was the modern-born and previously non-existent disposition on the part of men to believe that a new idea can have value.

When I was fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have him around. When I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.

In Nevada, for a time, the lawyer, the editor, the banker, the chief desperado, the chief gambler, and the saloon-keeper occupied the same level of society, and it was the highest.

I Shall Return!

Keep on going and the chances are you will stumble on something, perhaps when you are least expecting it. I have never heard of anyone stumbling on something sitting down.

It is just good practice to do a situational scan and have situational awareness when you are out in the world.

I think I am actually humble. I think I’m much more humble than you would understand.