Mark Twain

To arrive at a just estimate of a renowned man’s character one must judge it by the standards of his time, not ours.

What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before.

Peace by persuasion has a pleasant sound, but I think we should not be able to work it. We should have to tame the human race first, and history seems to show that that cannot be done.

Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.

He is useless on top of the ground; he ought to be under it, inspiring the cabbages.

The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven.

Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.

I do then with my friends as I do with my books. I would have them where I can find them, but I seldom use them.

The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can’t find them, make them.

I put a piece of paper under my pillow, and when I could not sleep I wrote in the dark.

We are stripped bare by the curse of plenty.

In sculpture did ever anybody call the Apollo a fancy piece? Or say of the Laocoon how it might be made different? A masterpiece of art has in the mind a fixed place in the chain of being, as much as a plant or a crystal.

An early-morning walk is a blessing for the whole day.

Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year.

Real practice has no purpose or direction, so it can include everything that comes.

Life loves to be taken by the lapel and told: “I’m with you kid. Let’s go.”

As the births of living creatures, at first, are ill-shapen: so are all Innovations, which are the births of time.

Accept your genius and say what you think.

The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender.

Opportunity makes a thief.

It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations. Bartlett’s Familiar Quotations is an admirable work, and I studied it intently. The quotations when engraved upon the memory give you good thoughts. They also make you anxious to read the authors and look for more.