Man was made at the end of the week’s work when God was tired.
More quotes by Mark Twain
There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man’s notion that he is less savage than the other savages.
The cat, having sat upon a hot stove lid, will not sit upon a hot stove lid again. But he won’t sit upon a cold stove lid, either.
Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand.
Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss SLOWLY. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret anything. That makes you smile.
An average English word is four letters and a half. By hard, honest labor I’ve dug all the large words out of my vocabulary and shaved it down till the average is three and a half… I never write metropolis for seven cents, because I can get the same money for city. I never write policeman, because I can get the same price for cop…. I never write valetudinarian at all, for not even hunger and wretchedness can humble me to the point where I will do a word like that for seven cents; I wouldn’t do it for fifteen.
More quotes about Wisdom
An election is coming. Universal peace is declared, and the foxes have a sincere interest in prolonging the lives of the poultry.
There is a difference between happiness and wisdom: he that thinks himself the happiest man is really so; but he that thinks himself the wisest is generally the greatest fool.
He that hath wife and children hath given hostages to fortune; for they are impediments to great enterprises, either of virtue or mischief.
You are going to let the fear of poverty govern you life and your reward will be that you will eat, but you will not live.
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.
Make the most of your regrets; never smother your sorrow, but tend and cherish it till it comes to have a separate and integral interest. To regret deeply is to live afresh.