Robert M. Pirsig

It is a puzzling thing. The truth knocks on the door and you say, ‘Go away, I’m looking for the truth.’ and so it goes away. Puzzling.

Even in the presence of others he was completely alone.

When one person suffers from a delusion It is called insanity. When many people suffer from a delusion It is called Religion.

The truth knocks on the door and you say, Go away, I’m looking for the truth, and so it goes away. Puzzling.

I saw a bank that said ’24 Hour Banking’, but I don’t have that much time!

We are the people our parents warned us about.

No one goes there nowadays, it’s too crowded.

If it weren’t for my lawyer, I’d still be in prison. It went a lot faster with two people digging.

If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.

No one looks stupid when they’re having fun!

You know, as a comedian your body has to be – I need to think of a better term than ‘up for grabs’ – but you kind of use whatever you have to get the laugh. And if you’re worrying about how you look… Vanity is the death of comedy.

I really do believe that anything in life – any obstacle or challenge – can be made better with humor.

I don’t mind what language an opera is sung in so long as it is a language I don’t understand.

I remember Tina Fey wrote a play about Catherine the Great f**king a horse and I thought, ‘That lady is hot stuff, I wanna know her.’

I have won several prizes as the world’s slowest alto player, as well as a special award in 1961 for quietness.

There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.

I took a speed reading course and read ‘War and Peace’ in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.

[on Tina Fey] I like to say our relationship is as old as Lourdes Ciccone

I tried practicing for a few weeks and ended up playing too fast.