Amy Poehler

No one looks stupid when they’re having fun!

The streets and woods around my house were a perfect setting for fake mischief. I would spend all afternoon pretending I had run away and had to live on my own. I would bring Toll House cookies and a sweatshirt and try to make a fire. I would sneak out side my house at dusk with a pair binoculars and search the streets for murderers. I created scenarios in my head that I always managed to escape from kidnap fantasies where I would wriggle free from the ropes.

[on her mother] she’s a very smart, independent woman who was kind of coming into her own in the feminist movement of the 70s and 80s

You have to care about how good you are and how good you feel, but not about how good people think you are or how good people think you look.

[at the 2013 Golden Globe Awards] Meryl Streep is not here tonight. She has the flu and I hear she’s amazing in it.

[on Tina Fey] I like to say our relationship is as old as Lourdes Ciccone

After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, ‘No hablo ingles.’

I took a speed reading course and read ‘War and Peace’ in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.

I saw a bank that said ’24 Hour Banking’, but I don’t have that much time!

If it weren’t for my lawyer, I’d still be in prison. It went a lot faster with two people digging.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

The anticipation for Tina playing Palin was so fun to witness, and she explains it well in her book Fifty Shades of Grey. She totally took on what was expected of her and it was awesome to stand next to her as she killed.

[at the 2013 Golden Globe Awards] Meryl Streep is not here tonight. She has the flu and I hear she’s amazing in it.

Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.

Well if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone.

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.

The secret source of humour itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humour in heaven.

Your wit makes others witty.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

So I’m licking jelly off my boyfriend and all of a sudden, I’m thinking, ‘Oh my God, I’m turning into my mother.