Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences that money can buy
Dogs have no money. Isn’t that amazing? They’re broke their entire lives. But they get through. You know why dogs have no money? … No pockets.
I’m so naive about finances. Once when my mother mentioned an amount and I realized I didn’t understand, she had to explain: That’s like three Mercedes.’ Then I understood.
I rob banks because that’s where the money is.
I’m so poor I can’t even pay attention.
Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.
Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.
The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all of your time.
You fool! You’re 30 cents away from having a quarter!
The lack of money is the root of all evils.
Money and women. They’re two of the strongest things in the world. The things you do for a woman you wouldn’t do for anything else. Same with money.
[On Roberts saying ‘I don’t know if I want to give up my whole management company and take it apart.’] Don’t be stupid. I’ll make you more money than you’ve made alone.
Part of the beauty of me is that I’m very rich
No man’s credit is as good as his money.
Money without brains is always dangerous.
Fortune does not change men, it unmasks them.
Ah, yes, divorce from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet
A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore.
What’s money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do.
If all the economists were laid end to end, they’d never reach a conclusion.
What is the robbing of a bank compared to the FOUNDING of a bank?
