Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.
I have never believed that prosperity is bad or something to be shunned.
Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don’t have for something they don’t need.
More and more these days I find myself pondering how to reconcile my net income with my gross habits.
Don’t depend on anyone but yourself for providing financial security.
You fool! You’re 30 cents away from having a quarter!
Ah, yes, divorce from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet
I was so poor growing up, if I wasn’t a boy, I’d have had nothing to play with.
Money is like muck, not good except it be spread.
A fool and her money are soon courted.
If all the rich people in the world divided up their money among themselves, there wouldn’t be enough to go around.
Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won’t be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.
Money, if it does not bring you happiness, will at least help you be miserable in comfort.
I make no claim to being a business genius. You can make so much money in this business that it loses its value.
Don’t matter how much money you got, there’s only two kinds of people: there’s saved people and there’s lost people.
Acting used to be how I paid the rent, but I sold a tequila company for a billion f**king dollars. I don’t need money.
The faster I make a lot of money, the faster I can have these kids I want.
My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income.
A bank book makes good reading – better than some novels.
Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.
Making money aint nothing exciting to me. You might be able to buy a little better booze than the wino on the corner. But you get sick just like the next cat and when you die youre just as graveyard dead as he is.
