Robin Williams

You can start any Monty Python routine and people finish it for you. Everyone knows it like shorthand.

We have a president for whom English is a second language. He’s like ‘We have to get rid of dictators,’ but he’s pretty much one himself.

You will have bad times, but they will always wake you up to the stuff you weren’t paying attention to.

Everyone has these two visions when they hold their child for the first time. The first is your child as an adult saying ‘I want to thank the Nobel Committee for this award.’ The other is ‘You want fries with that?’

And now that you have a child you have to clean up your act, ’cause you can’t drink anymore. You can’t come home drunk and go, ‘Hey, here’s a little switch: Daddy’s gonna throw up on you!’

I started doing comedy because that was the only stage that I could find. It was the pure idea of being on stage. That was the only thing that interested me, along with learning the craft and working, and just being in productions with people.

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

In God we trust; all others must pay cash.

A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to us than the 99 which we had to work for, and the money won at Faro or in the stock market snuggles into our hearts in the same way.

Today, there are three kinds of people: the have’s, the have-not’s, and the have-not-paid-for-what-they-have’s.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Money will buy you a fine dog, but only love can make it wag its tail!

A bank book makes good reading – better than some novels.

I say, not in a braggadocios way, I’ve made billions and billions of dollars dealing with people all around the world.

Carpe per diem – seize the check.

Money doesn’t talk, it swears.

Scientists have odious manners, except when you prop up their theory; then you can borrow money of them.

I don’t mind that I’m fat. You still get the same money.

Money often costs too much.

Money is not required to buy one necessity of the soul.

I have no interest in becoming a tax exile and living somewhere I don’t want to – I just want to be at home with my family.