Robin Williams

Okra is the closest thing to nylon I’ve ever eaten. It’s like they bred cotton with a green bean. Okra, tastes like snot. The more you cook it, the more it turns into string.

Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.

You can start any Monty Python routine and people finish it for you. Everyone knows it like shorthand.

I started doing comedy because that was the only stage that I could find. It was the pure idea of being on stage. That was the only thing that interested me, along with learning the craft and working, and just being in productions with people.

Time is the best teacher, but unfortunately, it kills all of its students.

Everyone has these two visions when they hold their child for the first time. The first is your child as an adult saying ‘I want to thank the Nobel Committee for this award.’ The other is ‘You want fries with that?’

The weird thing is, when Darrell Hammond or Will Ferrell or Dana Carvey did an impersonation of a president, no one assumed it was personal, but because Sarah Palin and I are both women and people think women are meaner to each other, everyone assumed it was personal.

If you have your eye set on somebody, don’t beat around the bush.

I’ve never felt uncomfortable with my level of fame. I don’t get hassled. Maybe sometimes in a minor way, but New Yorkers are much too cool for that. The thing is, you choose to be an actress, but not to be a celebrity.

[on Anthony Weiner] I remember him now… the man whose name is so perfect for the scandal he was caught up in that it rekindled my faith in God.

I started doing a paper round when I was about 10. I started earning £10 a week and then I was obsessed with earning money until I was about 15.

Music is passionate. It’s love for me.

I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it’s only because I struggle with math.

I’m the closest that hip-hop is getting to God. In some situations I’m like a ghetto Pope.

It’s crazy because, you know, my parents always want me to watch old films to make me realize how amazing some of the older actors are. And I was obsessed as soon as I watched ‘Stand by Me.

There’s nothing I really wanted to do in life that I wasn’t able to get good at. That’s my skill. I’m not really specifically talented at anything except for the ability to learn. That’s what I do. That’s what I’m here for.

I didn’t miss out on a family life because of racing. I had one because of it.

In LA, where I live, it’s all about perfectionism. Beauty is now defined by your bones sticking out of your decolletage. For that to be the standard is really perilous for women.

I was bored one day so my Dad took me to this acting school. I liked it more than having fun – I liked it for a job.

Oh but I’m serious this time. Take your American history books, burn them in the streets, they’re worthless after Tuesday. Why? The senate is up for grabs. I repeat – the f**king senate is up for grabs!

I don’t remember anyone’s name. How do you think the ‘dahling’ thing got started?