Tina Fey

No other formula gives your baby a better start at life except that stuff that comes out of you for free.

I think people fetishize glasses in general. You could put glasses on a rotting pumpkin and people would think it was sexy.

Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.

When humor works, it works because it’s clarifying what people already feel. It has to come from someplace real.

Sometimes people expect that I’m going to be tough. It’s not a bad situation. People treat you better. People are on time.

I’m a big fan of ‘The Office’, both the British and the American versions.

When I started, I never gave any thought whatsoever to what I would be doing when I was 70.

Ryan and I didn’t grow up like this at all, with this much attention. We’ll just try to keep their feet on the ground and raise them with the values we were raised with.

No, I’ve never thought that I was gay. And that’s not something you think. It’s something you know.

The postman wants an autograph. The cab driver wants a picture. The waitress wants a handshake. Everyone wants a piece of you.

[On relationship with Jimmy Page] We’re still good friends, we both enjoy a rather dark sense of humour that comes, I think, from being on the wrong side of the tracks for all those wild years.

I think I’m prone to panic.

I was a mostly happy child, though I had a pretty rough puberty. Growing up as a girl is always traumatizing, especially when you have the deadly combination of greasy skin and getting your boobs at ten. But I think it’s good to grow up that way. It builds character.

I didn’t think my career would last this long, and it’s still going.

Apparently, I think it’s Columbia Records has Betty Wand’s name on all of the stuff that I did, too, and that’s made me very, very unhappy.

I must say, as a point of pride, that I didn’t get the job because I was a woman. I got the job because Amy Poehler moved to New York with the Upright Citizens Brigade and I was the next best thing.

[on filming Red Eye] I loved the action sequences, running though an airport in heels and all that stuff. That was really fun.

When I was a kid I used to hide behind the curtains at home at Christmas and I used to try and be Elvis. There was a certain ambience between the curtains and the French windows, there was a certain sound there for a ten-year-old. That was all the ambience I got at ten years old…I think!

There is no such thing as ugly. That’s a word that doesn’t really enter my vocabulary. If there’s any definition to being perfect, you’re perfect at being yourself.

[While Amy Poehler and I were doing press for Sisters,] every single interviewer asked, ‘Isn’t this an amazing time for women in comedy?’ People really wanted us to be openly grateful-‘Thank you so much!’-and we were like, ‘No, it’s a terrible time. If you were to really look at it, the boys are still getting more money for a lot of garbage, while the ladies are hustling and doing amazing work for less.’

I’ve had many nicknames over the years: V, Nessa, Nessy Poo, Nessy Bear and Van. Only my parents call me Van, though, and I hate it. I get embarrassed.