Tina Fey

If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important rule of beauty, which is: who cares?

[on Matthew McConaughey] He was always taking his shirt off, he’s like Yeah, here’s my deal, I’m hot.” We had a meeting one day at like 11 o’clock, right before the show and he walks into the meeting shirtless wearing this like old musty sarong… He doesn’t smell great, no.

Researches reported that they developed a ‘self-healing’ plastic that repairs itself if cracked. The plastic will change the way airplanes are built and medicine is practiced. In a related story, Joan Rivers will never die.

I think the world has too many actresses.

Left to my own devices, I dress like I’m here to service your aquarium.

Say Yes. You’ll figure it out afterward.

This is truly a blessing. Breyon Prescott, Peter Edge and Tom Corson believe in me and have introduced me to a home that also believes and knows exactly what to do with the type of music I’m doing.

My mission is to let all women know you don’t have to be like Paris Hilton and shoot a sex tape and three weeks later you have a reality show. You don’t (have) to be like Kim and shoot a sex tape and do Playboy and become this so-called superstar from having a sex tape. Just focus on your talent, the positive things of life that you do!

I have my moments – usually twice every album – when I basically lose it.

But once I acclimated and really used fame for what it was offering me as a tool to serve my life purpose of inspiring and contributing, then it started to get fun again.

Love should be an inspiration, not an obligation.

Student debt is like HPV – if you go to college, you are most likely to get it, and it will follow you for the rest of your life.

[about political pundits suggesting Trump be given a chance to be president] Now, in the broadest sense, I get that impulse: hope for the best in the face of very long odds. It’s like we’re on a plane and we just found out our pilot is a wombat.

Kyle saw the things he didn’t accomplish but he could help Adam accomplish.

I didn’t think my career would last this long, and it’s still going.

Everyone asks me about being so worried or thinking about existence as if I’m the only person who can’t understand why a tree grows the way it does or why a person is in power when they’re not that great. These are questions everyone has.

I see my role as a baby doctor helping people deliver their babies. I felt the same way in the music industry.

Being jealous of a beautiful woman is not going to make you more beautiful.

Confidence is key. Sometimes, you need to look like you’re confident even when you’re not.

I don’t have a recollection of mostly anybody I’ve hung out with.

I don’t actually own a car.