Tina Fey

You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.

If you want to make an audience laugh, you dress a man up like an old lady and push her down the stairs. If you want to make comedy writers laugh, you push an actual old lady down the stairs.

Somewhere around the fifth or seventh grade I figured out that I could ingratiate myself to people by making them laugh. Essentially, I was just trying to make them like me. But after a while it became part of my identity.

When I was going to school in, like, ’84 to ’88, you didn’t have cell phones. There was no e-mail, if you can wrap your brain around that.

In an interview, Paris Hilton said that of her and her sister, ‘People love to hate us. But when you know us, you love us. And if you really get to know us, you get gonorrhea’.

Being a mom has made me so tired. And so happy.

Kourtney has a new therapist and a new bf and I don’t really know which one is this problem

This is between us! You know this is the best thing for the company.

I’ve been working so hard, I’m about to have a Mariah Carey.

It’s crazy because, you know, my parents always want me to watch old films to make me realize how amazing some of the older actors are. And I was obsessed as soon as I watched ‘Stand by Me.

I’d probably say I’m very strong. If somebody says something horrible, I’m like, ‘Okay, whatever.

What gets me is how many women – young women – give up their power and sense of self. Thinking they’re going to get more out of life if they take off their clothes and objectify themselves, instead of functioning on the principle that they’re smart and capable, that you can be an actress and not be on the covers of T&A magazines. I’m flabbergasted by how many legitimate actresses do that. It blows my mind.

Then there’s the story of ill-fated love. It’s universal.

I’m very proud of my skin and my face, and I have no problem not wearing makeup. I don’t wear makeup because I feel like I need to cover myself up or because I don’t feel confident. I wear makeup because it’s fun; it’s like painting on my face.

I had to get back to work. NBC has me under contract. The baby and I only have a verbal agreement.

Payday loans are like the Lay’s Potato Chips of finance. You can’t have just one and they’re terrible for you.

Before you, my life was like a moonless night, but there were stars-points of light and reason. Then you flew across my sky, and there was light. When you were gone, when the meteor had flown over the horizon, nothing had changed, but my eyes had been blinded by the light. I couldnt see the light anymore, and there ceased to be a reason for anything.

Do I love the road? Honestly? No – but it’s how I earn my living. I also don’t have the blues, like it’s some kind of fever. The blues is my job. It’s what I do.

I’m tryna stay way away from her. It comes from experience, Im at a point in my life where I feel like Ive done that. At some point you cant drown yourself in that, you have to grow. If I ran into a chick like Kat Stacks I would know what it was.

My career has been a combination of hard work and timing. Working with Stevie Wonder at the Kennedy Center Honors was timing. The Tonight Show was timing. Carnegie Hall, that was timing. My marriage was timing. I was ready, I wanted to know what it was like.

Possibly the whole creative whirlwind of any musician’s life is based on garnering and developing and absorbing more and more experience.