Tina Fey

We’re all comedy fans in my family. My parents mainly wouldn’t let me watch stuff that was either annoying to them, or just garbage. My dad wouldn’t let us watch ‘The Flintstones’ if he was home, because he said it was a rip-off of ‘The Honeymooners’. But he would let us stay up really late in the summer and watch old ‘Honeymooners’.

I really admire stand-up, and I think I would have loved to learn how to do it. I think it’s terrifying and thrilling. A really cool thing to do. It’s a dying art, in a way.

The difference between male comedy writers and female comedy writers is that the male ones are taller and weigh more.

I want to spend time with Oprah, and I don’t know what I need to do to make that happen.

Whitney Houston’s cover of “I Will Always Love You” was constantly on my FM Walkman radio around that time. I think that made me cry because I associated it with absolutely no one.

I like to write about women, not so much about the way they relate to men, but about the way they relate to each other.

Well, my sort of stability as a character, it’s never been one of my strongest attributes. I’m a bit of a clusterf*ck. I get so many great ideas that I kind of mesmerize people with another plan before the previous plan is hatched out; people run away, pull their hair off, go off in different directions, nodding their heads, and going, “Oh, god”.

My most favorite joke is that to keep a marriage, the husband should have a night out with the boys and the wife should have a night out with the boys, too.

I see myself more as a character actress than a celebrity!

What was the competition? Well, I remember this Puerto Rican who came out in a short skirt and a gun.

My family, you know, are all still, you know, very close. We’re all still very close. Mom and Daddy are still alive. So, what more can you ask for? Your kids are healthy.

There’s not a lot of towns that I can go to and take family – too many incongruous knocks on doors – “Hello, honey. Have you missed me?”

Obviously, [Hollywood is lacking] stories from women of color. If you talk about areas of the industry that are underrepresented, that is an area that the whole industry could stand with getting better at.

No one to talk with, all by myself. No one to walk with, but I’m happy on the shelf.

The thing about drugs and sex is that you lose all your inhibitions. I’ve had sex in trains, planes, wine bars… and quite a few car parks!

And you know, life is a constant learning experience. I learn so much with my kids. I read tons of books and study what they’re studying.

I gossiped when I was given a chance because I wasn’t popular so the few times someone would invite you into the group to have a conversation it was usually about someone else and you just joined in because it was great to be a part of something, and that I feel bad for.

I feel like I needed a balance. I don’t want to forget about my personal life and spending time with myself.

There are stereotypes and it is quite amazing how often members of bands seem to follow those stereotypes. Singers are all vain. Guitarists are all vain but won’t admit it. Bass players are quiet people, and drummers are very exciting people to be with.

I’m not a mean person, but I have a capacity for it. I have the biting comment formed somewhere in the back of my head – like it’s in captivity. Sometimes people expect that I’m going to be tough. It’s not a bad situation. People treat you better. People are on time.

News is now one of the three things that we get from social media, the other two being our entire sense of self-worth and pictures of shaved alpacas.