Tina Fey

Amy Poehler made it clear that she wasn’t there to be cute. She wasn’t there to play wives or girlfriends in the boys’ scenes. She was there to do what she wanted to do and she did not f**king care if you like it.

That night’s show was watched by ten million people, so I guess that director at The Second City who said the audience “didn’t want to see a sketch with two women” can go shit in his hat.

I don’t fit the mold. In this country, success usually happens when you are 22 and six feet tall. Clearly, by asking that question they are kind of letting me know that I am an aberration.

I want to spend time with Oprah, and I don’t know what I need to do to make that happen.

It is an impressively arrogant move to conclude that just because you don’t like something, it is empirically not good.

I really admire stand-up, and I think I would have loved to learn how to do it. I think it’s terrifying and thrilling. A really cool thing to do. It’s a dying art, in a way.

Obviously, [Hollywood is lacking] stories from women of color. If you talk about areas of the industry that are underrepresented, that is an area that the whole industry could stand with getting better at.

I really wasn’t heavy in high school. But no one feels right in their own skin, particularly in high school.

There’s no comparison between the most precious parts of one’s personal life and success and wealth. If you lost someone near and dear to you, you can’t relate it to any amount of fame, fortune and luxury. You just have to go on living.

Be sure it’s true when you say I love you. It’s a sin to tell a lie. Millions of heart have been broken. Just because these words were spoken.

It is a little insulting that you’re trying to appeal to adult women voters the same way that Mattel attempts to appeal to eight year olds. And at least Barbie’s pink bus had the good sense to unfold into a sweet hot tub and party den combo. … The only way it could be even more patronizing is if its wheels were giant NuvaRings and they refused to let women drive it.

Well, once we finish something, I can’t really listen to it because all I hear are problems.

The older you get the more capable you get at managing life.

There were a couple of times where you think you’re swimming towards a guy with a breating apparatus and then you find its just some thing in the water and you’re like (imitates freaking out) and then you just know what to do and they film your stupid face just screaming underwater and then everyone starts laughing and its just like, ahh, great.

It’s nice having famous people love you.

Chris Rock once said something that was really interesting. He said, “Women would run the world if they didn’t hate each other.” That’s the only thing preventing us from running this entire planet, that we hate each other!

Lots of people who complained about us receiving the MBE received theirs for heroism in the war –for killing people. We received ours for entertaining other people. I’d say we deserve ours more.

So I’m you, I’m us, it’s us. It went from Kanye, which means the only one, to just Ye – just being a reflection of our good, our bad, our confused, everything. The album is more of a reflection of who we are.

Some people misconstrue our band just to be a commercial venture.

Well, for the My Generation album, there was nothing to be nervous about in them days. We used to take every day as it came. Every day was just a gig and I think we did the recording between gigs literally.

It’s OK to quote from your past. But I’m more interested in quoting from my present and pointing towards the future.