Tina Fey

The difference between male comedy writers and female comedy writers is that the male ones are taller and weigh more.

[Feminism] means that you believe in the equality of the sexes in every way.

If you’re an actor and you don’t get cast in stuff a lot, then put together a show or hold play-reading nights at your apartment. Make your own opportunities.

When I started on ‘Saturday Night Live,’ I had the choice of wearing contact lenses, which I had never worn before, or glasses, in order to be able to read the cue cards.

I don’t weigh myself. I just go by if my clothes fit. I try not to participate too much in the incredible amount of wasted energy that women have around dealing with food. I just feel like being healthy is sort of a job requirement to be on TV, and being a writer is so much coping with fatigue and stress, and you just eat. You eat to stay awake.

Mary Tyler Moore was a working woman whose story lines were not always about dating and men. They were about work friendships and relationships, which is what I feel my adult life has mostly been about.

Even though the album is an endangered species, can we try and make a coherent and good one, even if it’s like making a horse and cart at a Nascar conference?

I hate that the paparazzi agencies get all of the fan accounts shut down! Ugh we have to think of something! Maybe start our own agency? And let all of the fans post whatever tf they want!!!!!

I wanted to be a secretary, I love paper clips and staplers

If you ain’t trying to cheat a little, you ain’t likely to win much.

I like you baby, just not more than my work right now

I’ve already done so much. The rest is just gravy, it’s like frosting on the cake

In LA, where I live, it’s all about perfectionism. Beauty is now defined by your bones sticking out of your decolletage. For that to be the standard is really perilous for women.

I used to sleep nude – until the earthquake.

This Velvet Mafia thing is just another homophobic, nasty kind of thing that jealous queens make up.

I must say, as a point of pride, that I didn’t get the job because I was a woman. I got the job because Amy Poehler moved to New York with the Upright Citizens Brigade and I was the next best thing.

I want a man who’s kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire?

Growing up is not being so dead-set on making everybody happy.

I never use that word, retire.

So, Alec Baldwin; great actor or greatest actor? I’m gonna say “greatest actor”; Greatest…living…American…actor…in…the Baldwin family…by a mile.

Everything I do stems from something personal, not just because it will look good on paper or be a tax write-off.