Tina Fey

It will never be perfect, but perfect is overrated. Perfect is boring on live tv.

I still want Oprah to play my best friend. I want to spend time with Oprah.

Oh, nerds!

Acting is really about showing up that day and telling the writers what you feel like saying.

We’re all comedy fans in my family. My parents mainly wouldn’t let me watch stuff that was either annoying to them, or just garbage. My dad wouldn’t let us watch ‘The Flintstones’ if he was home, because he said it was a rip-off of ‘The Honeymooners’. But he would let us stay up really late in the summer and watch old ‘Honeymooners’.

We’ll probably end up doing a terrible crossover, where the Matthew Perry character on the drama rapes my character on the comedy-and then the ‘Law & Order’ team solves the crime.

I guess I was a floater, but not really. I don’t know. I didn’t get high school.

This is just to get the kids ready to play. It’s not about the score of the games. We want the boys to learn what they can from this. It helps the coaches see where we’re at and what we need to be working on.

[on sleeping with Trump] I’m very food-motivated. That’s why I stayed and held out for so long because I was told there would be snacks. I was starving! Maybe that’s part of why I was easy prey because I was light-headed.

I never use that word, retire.

What I recall for the first two years is my daughter not really knowing who I was and getting rather agitated when I came back off tour, as she thought I’d come to rob the house.

I think Daniel (Radcliffe)’s… just so far superior to me in terms of desirability, so he didn’t really have much of a competition with me. If I were Katie, I would definitely go out with him because he’s rich and famous, and I’m not really!

I was motivated by just thinking that if you had all this external success that everyone would love you and everything would be peaceful and wonderful.

Basically you have to suppress your own ambitions in order to be who you need to be.

I found that the more truthful and vulnerable I was, the more empowering it was for me.

I almost chopped my thumb off once. Just before I left home, I was about ten or eleven years old, and I was trying to open a bone. Can you imagine that? A bone! I was trying to get the marrow out of a bone, and I took the ax, and I went to chop it, and something slipped, and the ax went right down there and damn near cut it off

Before Twilight, I did any movie that I got offered. But now fans expectations have doubled and I just can’t mess around. Today, I can’t afford to be a part of any movie. I have to question a lot more now before I take a project. After all I can’t disappoint my fans.

[on turning down a role in ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’] I didn’t really fancy sitting in a hotel room in Los Angeles for nine weeks for two minutes on screen, to be honest. I don’t really want to be an actor. I want to write and direct. I’ve been offered about ten British films. Obviously all shit. I was offered one with Johnny Depp, but again, it was a small character part, and I thought, ‘What’s the point?’ No one’s ever watched someone in seven films for one minute and said, ‘Yeah, give him his own film’…it doesn’t happen.”

[On Laura Nyro] Anything she wanted, I wanted to get for her.

Some people misconstrue our band just to be a commercial venture.

I hope we left you with something to put under your pillow.