Tina Fey

I didn’t get on TV until I was 30, which is really fortunate because you are who you are at that point.

If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important rule of beauty, which is: who cares?

Gravity is nominated for best film. It’s the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die than spend one more minute with a woman his own age.

Because we were raised around art and went to museums and the women I grew up around were curvy…there wasn’t this value on skinny, skinny, skinny. Curvy was clearly meant to be the winner. I go up and down a few pounds with a relative amount of kindness to myself. And I have a daughter, and I don’t want her to waste her time on all of that.

We need to stop talking about whether women are funny. And we need to acknowledge that black people are funnier than white people. Let’s discuss that.

We’ll probably end up doing a terrible crossover, where the Matthew Perry character on the drama rapes my character on the comedy-and then the ‘Law & Order’ team solves the crime.

Twelve was a real turning point for me as I moved to a mixed school, and then I became cool and discovered hair gel.

You know my heart couldn’t take it.

I’ve been offered a part in Alias and I’m going to do it. I love Alias, it’s great and JJ Abrams is writing me a part especially. It’s just whether I can do it or not – it’s got to be the right time, the right project, it’s got to be fun, it’s got to be worth it and it mustn’t be bad for my career. Most people go ‘it’ll do, it’s work and it’ll make me a bit more famous’ or ‘the money’s good’ but I just think I’ve never regretted saying no. But a lot of people have regretted saying yes.

[on his acting career] All the new people you meet, it’s pretty amazing. The vampire needs new blood. And there is still a lot to learn and there is always great stuff out there. Even mistakes can be wonderful.

The whole idea of music, from the beginning of time, was for people to be happy.

Well, I speak for my show only when I say we’re in debt to journalists because we’re just pulling clips all day long which they made in the first place. We know that a lot of people watching our show haven’t been watching the news as closely as we have – they haven’t been following hundreds of reporters on Twitter all day. So I guess our goal is to say: ‘Hey, here’s what happened today in 10 minutes, and hopefully we’ll tell you in a way that won’t make you throw your remote at the television’.

Kourtney has a new therapist and a new bf and I don’t really know which one is this problem

I think the way for me to win America’s heart is to perform, and if I really was concerned about breaking big then there’d be a tour.

Part of the early Who career was all about knocking people’s confidences out.

I didn’t think my career would last this long, and it’s still going.

Denver’s pretty quick. They couldn’t keep up with him in the open field.

I don’t believe your soul mate has to share your politics.

I come from a very small island which is packed with people. I mean, jam-packed with people. I’ve lived a life which has been pretty much full up with ambition, ideas, stimulus, creativity, some negativity which I try and avoid.

Some people misconstrue our band just to be a commercial venture.

I think the best analogy for where we are right now is that America is Elvis Presley – the most beautiful, talented, rebellious nation in the history of Earth. And now, you’re in your Vegas years. You’ve squeezed yourself into a white jumpsuit, you’re wheezing your way through ‘Love Me Tender’ and you might be about to pass away bloated on the toilet. But you’re still the King.