Tina Fey

Don’t waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions; go over, under, through, and opinions will change organically when you’re the boss. Or they won’t. Who cares? Do your thing and don’t care if they like it.

If you want to be a screenwriter, take an acting class to get a sense of what you’re asking actors to do. Learning other skills will help you communicate with people and respect what they do.

My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.

Mary Tyler Moore was a working woman whose story lines were not always about dating and men. They were about work friendships and relationships, which is what I feel my adult life has mostly been about.

When choosing sexual partners, remember: talent is not sexually transmittable.

By the way, when Oprah Winfrey is suggesting you may have overextended yourself, you need to examine your f**ing life.

If you’ve got to take it. Take it easy. Never hurry to a date. Eat your supper; let ’em wait.

I think Pete did have a hard time as a kid with his appearance. But don’t all kids have a hard time? God, I had a hard time, too. I was little with bow legs and rickets. I used to get picked on like everybody used to get picked on.

Know what? Bitches get shit done.

I closed my eyes, held my breath and then everything went black.

A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished.

I love the people here. I love New York.

On Jimmy Kimmel we had a great time having a dialogue. I’m reading that I was stumped by a question. Let me clarify the click bait. I wasn’t stumped. I wasn’t given a chance to answer the question.

You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.

There are always going to be ridiculous rumors.

[on Disney banning junk food adverts] I think when you can get an occupant of the White House behind you, particularly one as formidable and effective and passionate as Mrs. Obama, that can’t hurt

And if you’re thinking, But hold on John, what if I’m an asshole who couldn’t give a shit about America’s hungry families or the long-term viability of life on Earth? Well, first, let me say, Mr. Trump, thank you so much for taking the time to watch this show tonight. It’s lovely to have you with us.

I think Led Zeppelin must have worn some of the most peculiar clothing that men had ever been seen to wear without cracking a smile.

[On taking a pay cut to make a documentary] I could keep trying to do the same kind of comedies. You know how it’s going to go, and you can get an audience with it, but then I feel like a hamster on a wheel.

The Troubadour was the only place where you could go and showcase for record companies. If you were lucky you might get to sing three or four songs that night.

Los Angeles makes you feel ugly. I’m not going to pretend I haven’t secretly wanted to be super-skinny, because all girls do.But I have a woman’s body, not a boy’s body. Most women do and should feel proud of their butts and their breasts and their bellies.’