Zach Braff

I love Scrubs. It’s the best day job in the world.

Maybe that’s all that family really is, a group of people who all miss the same imaginary place.

I love “The Office”. I think it’s the funniest thing – Ricky Gervais is possibly the funniest person I’ve seen in my entire life.

They put all this money into these huge movies, and then no one goes to see them… That sort of shows that they’re out of touch. Then, everyone in town passes on my little movie, and it does really well.

My mother’s a psychologist, my stepfather’s a psychologist, my stepmother is a therapist and my dad’s a lawyer. So it was all prominent in my life. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t know someone on some form of prescription medicine.

[On Hollywood’s initial response to his Garden State script] Everyone said no. Everyone with a date book and a phone in Los Angeles said no.

[on the MTV movie awards] Ryan was whispering in my ear as we’re winning the award. He’s like, ‘You go that way, I’ll go this way, and we’ll meet in the middle. I was like, ‘What?!? You better not chicken out or I’ll kill you!’ It was fun.

The blues was bleeding the same blood as me.

I was a very confident little kid.

I’ve got to the point now where I can poke some fun at my old image and really enjoy letting go when a juicy role comes along.

I don’t know how you explain Piers Morgan back to Americans now. I don’t think he ever intended for America to be his home, and there’s a difference between criticising the place you have come to call home and the place you have come to live in for a bit. Ideally, on the Venn diagram between myself and Piers there would be no overlap whatsoever, on either a personal or professional level. If we could be two non-interlocking circles I’d be fine with that. Any comparison with him makes me want to challenge you to a duel.

I almost chopped my thumb off once. Just before I left home, I was about ten or eleven years old, and I was trying to open a bone. Can you imagine that? A bone! I was trying to get the marrow out of a bone, and I took the ax, and I went to chop it, and something slipped, and the ax went right down there and damn near cut it off

We drove for the sheer fun of driving because there wasn’t that much money to be made.

The guys that don’t respect that history and tradition, I don’t think they’re going to be around all that long. And those guys who don’t know the history and tradition, I think it’s upon them to learn about it pretty quick if they want to be a success.

I like to audition for good projects because if it’s a good project, it’s an opportunity to get in front of a casting director.

Comedy is acting out optimism.

Some of the best times in my life happened under the influence of drugs… I’d still be doing it if I could make good judgement calls. I’d still be doing it if I didn’t blow up to the size of an aircraft hangar, because it was a great time.

There are no mistakes, only opportunities.

We don’t want to be influenced, just informed.

Last year in L.A. county 150 out of 151 incumbents ran unopposed. And come on. They could at least go through the motions of pretending there was another candidate. Just throw a robe on a pelican and tape a gavel to his wing. Or – I’ll tell you what – you’re in L.A. Just pretend you’re considering Blake Lively for the job. Movie studios do that all the time.

I get most of my news from the Jon Stewart Daily Show. It’s the most level commentary you can find. You have to laugh, because it’s all so true. It’s the closest thing to a counterculture.