Rachel Weisz

I’m very wary of talking about statements. I’m a storyteller, I’m an actor, an entertainer.

I was advised by an American agent when I was about 19 to change my surname.

You know what, I have faith in people. I think people want to see something new and different. They don’t want to see anything that they’ve seen before. They don’t want to have it worked out in the first 10 minutes how it will end. I think people are really smart and sophisticated.

It’s incredible watching my son grow up and learn to read, discover the world and test boundaries. Being a mum is the greatest joy of my life, definitely.

[on Darren Aronofsky] I guess the first impression was that I’d been a big admirer of his work, and then I met someone who you’d never have put with that work. There was something very refreshing about that. I thought I was going to meet someone who was very intense and weird.

[on shopping] God no! I hate it, absolutely hate it. I can’t stand it, it’s such a drag. So I just tend to wear the same things all the time. I don’t like change anyway.

You can start any Monty Python routine and people finish it for you. Everyone knows it like shorthand.

Comedy is acting out optimism.

People don’t have to like or support you, so you always have to say thank you.

It’s nice to come home to what’s real.

[On husband Ryan Phillippe] I don’t think I can imagine a better guy than the one I’ve ended up with.

[on Trump] He’s like the guy drowning but waving off a lifeboat saying, ‘Get out of here, I’m very buoyant. I’m the most buoyant. Everybody talks about my buoyancy. I’m a tremendous floater.’

I don’t really see the point in washing your hair. If you don’t care if your hair’s clean or not then why would you wash it?

I’m not a mean person, but I have a capacity for it.

If we don’t get actively involved to at least mitigate Trump’s damage, things will not be OK. And yes, the sun will rise each day, but the continuing rotation of the earth should not be your baseline expectation of American society.

Even when I was at ‘SNL,’ I didn’t do impersonations. I always wanted to be the kind of person who could do them – I always thought they were the coolest thing on the show – but I didn’t have any experience.

There’s something timeless and important about making people laugh, about being the right spot in their day.

Before you talk to people in music or entertainment or video games, or even gun control, you need to talk to psychiatrists.

It hits you in small ways and large, doesn’t it? For instance, had you considered the fact that portraits of Trump are going to be hanging in our airports? Uh… or that the man who disparaged a Gold Star family will now be expected to comfort the families of fallen soldiers? And maybe you’ve tried to make yourself feel better, fantasizing that he might Google how much does the president get paid?, get depressed, and then resign. But that is when you remember Mike fucking Pence, who might be even worse, because he looks like he’s from the 1950s, but he thinks like he’s from the 1650s. Oh, what’s that, you say? Her pregnancy was terminated before birth? Well, clearly she’s a witch. Hold a funeral for the fetus and throw the mother in a lake.

Oh, nerds!

If there are 10 people there, two or three are going to recognize you.