Steve Martin

Be so good they can’t ignore you.

Ah, yes, divorce … from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet

Money is like muck, not good except it be spread.

Philanthropic efforts are among the best rewards you can have for a life well lived.

What is the robbing of a bank compared to the FOUNDING of a bank?

Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.

The best thing I know about me, is that I’m rich

A bank book makes good reading – better than some novels.

A billion here, a billion there, sooner or later it adds up to real money.

I’m tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.

People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.

Money doesn’t talk, it swears.

You can’t substitute material things for love or for gentleness or for tenderness or for a sense of comradeship. Money is not a substitute for tenderness, and power is not a substitute for tenderness.

When a fellow says it ain’t the money but the principle of the thing, it’s the money.

I give lectures for money, but all the money goes to charity. So, I make no money from it.

Money gives me the creeps and mildly embarrasses me. I get paid too much anyway.