George Bernard Shaw

Never waste jealousy on a real man: it is the imaginary man that supplants us all in the long run.

Choose silence of all virtues, for by it you hear other men’s imperfections, and conceal your own.

Democracy: The substitution of election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.

She has taken a patronizing fancy to her father, the Admiral, who accepts her condescension gratefully as age brings more and more home to him the futility of his social position.

We have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth without producing it.

Independence? That’s middle class blasphemy. We are all dependent on one another, every soul of us on earth.

All money is a matter of belief.

[On Roberts saying ‘I don’t know if I want to give up my whole management company and take it apart.’] Don’t be stupid. I’ll make you more money than you’ve made alone.

It’s the same old story, all you think about is money.

When a fellow says it ain’t the money but the principle of the thing, it’s the money.

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.

Scientists have odious manners, except when you prop up their theory; then you can borrow money of them.

Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it.

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.

If you can count your money, you don’t have a billion dollars.

I’m tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.

I made my money the old-fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died!

Steve Jobs didn’t give a shit about money, and I do give a shit about money. I wanted to have a lot of money. I thought it would change my life, which it did, but not in the ways I expected.

Use your money to buy privacy because during most of your life you aren’t allowed to be normal.

It’s like when you see all the slave movies. Why you gotta keep reminding us about slavery? Why don’t you show us – put Michael Jordan on a $20 bill.

If you’re given a choice between money and sex appeal, take the money. As you get older, the money will become your sex appeal.