Samuel Butler

Self-preservation is the first law of nature.

Let us be grateful to the mirror for revealing to us our appearance only.

Justice is my being allowed to do whatever I like. Injustice is whatever prevents my doing so.

Men are seldom more commonplace than on supreme occasions.

The dead should be judged like criminals, impartially, but they should be allowed the benefit of the doubt.

The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too.

I’ve been poor and I’ve been rich and rich is better.

I’m tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.

A man who pays his bills on time is soon forgotten

Money is the representative of a certain quantity of corn or other commodity. It is so much warmth, so much bread.

I don’t like money, actually, but it quiets my nerves.

Money is the best deodorant.

A fool and his money are lucky enough to get together in the first place.

finally know what distinguishes man from other beasts: financial worries.

I made my money the old-fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died!

In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.

It’s like when you see all the slave movies. Why you gotta keep reminding us about slavery? Why don’t you show us – put Michael Jordan on a $20 bill.

I’m bout this shmoney!

There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one.

If you owe the bank $100 that’s your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem.

Money often costs too much.