Rodney Dangerfield

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

I think one of the most pervasive evils in this world is greed and acquiring money for money’s sake. Once you have six houses and a plane, it’s just about a number. It’s never been anything I understood.

We didn’t actually overspend our budget. The allocation simply fell short of our expenditure.

More and more these days I find myself pondering how to reconcile my net income with my gross habits.

In spite of the cost of living, it’s still popular.

If you’re given a choice between money and sex appeal, take the money. As you get older, the money will become your sex appeal.

It’s like when you see all the slave movies. Why you gotta keep reminding us about slavery? Why don’t you show us – put Michael Jordan on a $20 bill.

The only point in making money is, you can tell some big shot where to go.

I rob banks because that’s where the money is.

The only way you will ever permanently take control of your financial life is to dig deep and fix the root problem.

Money is not required to buy one necessity of the soul.

I have no interest in becoming a tax exile and living somewhere I don’t want to – I just want to be at home with my family.

The waste of money cures itself, for soon there is no more to waste.

Acting used to be how I paid the rent, but I sold a tequila company for a billion f**king dollars. I don’t need money.

Don’t matter how much money you got, there’s only two kinds of people: there’s saved people and there’s lost people.

The two things that can hurt you are if you need money or if you need fame. Those are the things that can be your Achilles’ heel. But if you don’t need money and you don’t need fame, then you’re free.