Brendan Behan

The faster I make a lot of money, the faster I can have these kids I want.

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.

More and more these days I find myself pondering how to reconcile my net income with my gross habits.

Money, it turned out, was exactly like sex, you thought of nothing else if you didn’t have it and thought of other things if you did.

Fortune does not change men, it unmasks them.

Getting money is not all a man’s business: to cultivate kindness is a valuable part of the business of life.

His money is twice tainted: taint yours and taint mine.

Undermine the entire economic structure of society by leaving the pay toilet door ajar so the next person can get in free.

It’s like when you see all the slave movies. Why you gotta keep reminding us about slavery? Why don’t you show us – put Michael Jordan on a $20 bill.

I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed!

Bankers are just like anybody else, only richer

Money isn’t everything, but it’s a long way ahead of what comes next.

Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don’t have for something they don’t need.

Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.