Max Asnas

Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.

Getting money is not all a man’s business: to cultivate kindness is a valuable part of the business of life.

Honesty is the best policy – when there is money in it.

If you want to make a million you don’t have to understand money, what you have to understand is people’s fears about money.

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.

[On Roberts saying ‘I don’t know if I want to give up my whole management company and take it apart.’] Don’t be stupid. I’ll make you more money than you’ve made alone.

Money is the representative of a certain quantity of corn or other commodity. It is so much warmth, so much bread.

Money, it turned out, was exactly like sex, you thought of nothing else if you didn’t have it and thought of other things if you did.

Money doesn’t talk, it swears.

Somebody said to me, ‘But the Beatles were anti-materialistic.’ That’s a huge myth. John and I literally used to sit down and say, ‘Now, let’s write a swimming pool’.

I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed!

The man who never has money enough to pay his debts has too much of something else.

Money gives me the creeps and mildly embarrasses me. I get paid too much anyway.