Comedy is acting out optimism.
Carpe per diem – seize the check.
Politics: ‘Poli’a Latin word meaning ‘many’; and “tics” meaning ‘bloodsucking creatures’.
(While accepting the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor for Good Will Hunting) Most of all, I want to thank my father, up there, the man who when I said I wanted to be an actor, he said, ‘Wonderful. Just have a back-up profession like welding.’
Cocaine is God’s way of telling you you are making too much money.
A woman would never make a nuclear bomb. They would never make a weapon that kills, no, no. They’d make a weapon that makes you feel bad for a while. About comic lines written by Mark Shaiman being removed for innuendo (i.e. Chip ‘n Dale are both strippers”) the week before for his presenting of Best Animated Film at the 77th Academy Awards: “For a while you get mad, then you get over it. They’re afraid of saying Olive Oyl is anorexic. It tells you about the state of humor. It’s strange to think: how afraid are you? We thought that they got the irony of it. I guess not.”
[to troops in Iraq] I’m looking at a group of heavily armed people here. I’m telling myself ‘if you’re not funny, it’s a problem’
What was the competition? Well, I remember this Puerto Rican who came out in a short skirt and a gun.
Carine Roitfeld is the Walt Disney of what Tumblr is today. She is the Kanye West of what Tumblr is today. She’s the single most important person to what street style is today. Carine Roitfeld is the Walt Disney of what Tumblr is today. She is the Kanye West of what Tumblr is today. She’s the single most important person to what street style is today.
There’s no damn business like show business – you have to smile to keep from throwing up.
The thing the sixties did was to show us the possibilities and the responsibility that we all had. It wasn’t the answer. It just gave us a glimpse of the possibility.
My worst habit is speaking to much.
When I’m no longer rapping I want to open up an ice-cream parlor and call myself Scoop Dogg.
Confidence is everything in this business.
God gave us a penis and a brain, but not enough blood to use both at once.
[on animals] When I see a toreador in a bullfight getting gored I think: ‘Good, you shouldn’t be in there’. What is the pleasure in seeing an animal speared to death? It’s the same with fox hunting. They’re just psychopaths. I think I’ll end up doing something with animals – running a sanctuary or something.
I’m quite obviously not the world’s most handsome man – I’m the second world’s most handsome man!
What cha saying boy, you think Im playing boy, watch ya mouth girl, its a mans world.
I don’t like my feet. I’m not crazy about anybody’s feet. But I have flat feet.
I do worry – a lot.
To rock isn’t necessarily to cavort.
Congress is like jazz – it’s really about the bills it’s not passing. It’s also like jazz in that most people hate it and anyone who says they don’t are lying.
