Robin Williams

We have a president for whom English is a second language. He’s like ‘We have to get rid of dictators,’ but he’s pretty much one himself.

Ah, yes, divorce … from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet

Okra is the closest thing to nylon I’ve ever eaten. It’s like they bred cotton with a green bean. Okra, tastes like snot. The more you cook it, the more it turns into string.

You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.

[on Popeye] If you watch it backwards, it has a plot.

Cricket is basically baseball on valium.

I believe I could do dance on ice, or play in a musical of Freud’s life called ‘It’s Your Mother’ – or maybe one for the symbolists: ‘Jung at Heart’. There’s always the one about India: ‘The Gandhi Man Can’.

Whenever I have bid a hasty goodbye to a loved one, I’ve always made sure that my record collection was safely stored away in the boot of the car….Sometimes the parting was so fast, I was not able to get them into alphabetical order, but I still got away with my records, that was essential.

Then I got a call the next day from the assistant director saying that they were putting me on a personal training programme. I thought that would be pretty cool, because it would make me take it seriously. It was run by one of the stunt team, who are the most absurdly fit guys inthe world. I can’t even do 10 press ups. I did about three weeks of that, and in the end I think he got so bored of trying to force me to do it that he wrote it all down so that I could do it at home.

Record sales don’t really mean anything. For us, the pressure is imagining some 15-year-old kid in Cincinnati who buys our album and doesn’t feel like he wasted his pocket money.

If you are someone, you know, with fame, whatever amount, it’s good to be married to someone who’s not impressed with that at all.

It’s an idiotic thing that you have to be a college graduate to be an agent.

[asked if she ever had any summer traditions when growing up] My family rented a cottage in Canada. They’d blare “Wake Up Little Susie” at seven in the morning throughout the entire campground. Everyone would roll over to the lodge and have sticky buns for breakfast, and then we’d jump on the trampoline all day long.

Everyone asks me about being so worried or thinking about existence as if I’m the only person who can’t understand why a tree grows the way it does or why a person is in power when they’re not that great. These are questions everyone has.

There is nothing inherently wrong with media that has a viewpoint. This show has a viewpoint; we fact-check everything we say, but I don’t pretend to be neutral on things like criminal justice reform; I’m for it. Uh… Coldplay; I’m against it. Uh… or DeWalt ladders; they’re a seamless blend of style and performance. Walking up one is like ascending to Heaven on a golden cloud. I’m not being paid to say that. I’m just a fan.

I was sleeping on a couch in my brothers apartment, and one day this guy walked over and said ‘How would you like to be in a movie?’ And I said ‘Yeah!’ I was an extra in ‘Explosive Generation’.

Frank Sinatra and Stan Getz had been friends of mine, and I wanted to pay tribute to them.

I had lots of breaks.

There is no such thing as ugly. That’s a word that doesn’t really enter my vocabulary. If there’s any definition to being perfect, you’re perfect at being yourself.

If you sold out the Troubadour, that was it.

Photoshop is just like makeup. When it’s done well it looks great, and when it’s overdone you look like a crazy asshole.