Tina Fey

That night’s show was watched by ten million people, so I guess that director at The Second City who said the audience “didn’t want to see a sketch with two women” can go shit in his hat.

I feel like it’s harder to get women to show up for movies.

Nothing is creepier than a bunch of adults being very quiet.

The Washington State Supreme Court on Thursday announced a two year suspension for a lawyer caught having jailhouse sex with a triple murder defendant she was representing. Haha! Jokes on you, dummies…I’m not really a lawyer.

Know what? Bitches get shit done.

You could put a blond wig on a hot-water heater and some dude would try to f**k it.

The trouble is now, with rock’n’roll and stuff, it gets so big that it loses what once upon a time was a magnificent thing, where it was special and quite elusive and occasionally a little sinister and it had its own world nobody could get in.

I get most of my news from the Jon Stewart Daily Show. It’s the most level commentary you can find. You have to laugh, because it’s all so true. It’s the closest thing to a counterculture.

It’s my nature to downplay.

I think, really, what it was was that I was raised in a very gray Britain in the 1950s. We were pummeled during the war. A lot of our cities were wrecked and smashed up and as we came out of that, we were baby boomers there; we didn’t have the candy apple red; we didn’t have the big chrome decals; we didn’t have Elvis. So what we did, we came out ferocious. We came out kicking and spitting and it was a reaction to the gray and depletion of our islands….

Fame for fame’s sake is a completely empty experience. Fame should be a by-product (and not necessarily a good one) of achieving something extraordinary.

I love Scrubs. It’s the best day job in the world.

I’m my worst critic and I always want to give people something better than I gave them before.

The only way I could get comfortable around people was to make them laugh. I was an obedient girl, and humor was my one form of rebellion. I used comedy to deflect. Like, ‘Hey, check out my zit!’ – you know, making fun of yourself before someone else has a chance to.

I like the red carpet. It’s like acting because it’s like a fairytale.

Yes, I watch what I eat but I don’t deny myself red wine or chocolate, the great things in life one can’t live without.

I love the intellectual type. They know everything and suspect nothing.

Fame always brings loneliness. Success is as ice cold and lonely as the North Pole.

All the boys did real good for their first time out. You couldn’t ask for any better. We’ve got a few bugs to work out, but that’s what this was for. We’re going to keep practicing and get better.

[on which film had a bigger impact on her career – “The Notebook” or “Mean Girls”] For me personally it would be The Notebook. That was something I was dying to do when I read the script. I worked with so many amazing people and people responded so well to that film, and continue to. In terms of an impact on my career, that was significant. Mean Girls speaks to a really large audience, which is the kids and they eat that stuff up. I don’t know. It’s hard to choose.

By the way, when Oprah Winfrey is suggesting you may have overextended yourself, you need to examine your f**ing life.