Robin Williams

Freud: If it’s not one thing, it’s your mother.

Ballet: Men wearing pants so tight that you can tell what religion they are.

A woman would never make a nuclear bomb. They would never make a weapon that kills, no, no. They’d make a weapon that makes you feel bad for a while. About comic lines written by Mark Shaiman being removed for innuendo (i.e. Chip ‘n Dale are both strippers”) the week before for his presenting of Best Animated Film at the 77th Academy Awards: “For a while you get mad, then you get over it. They’re afraid of saying Olive Oyl is anorexic. It tells you about the state of humor. It’s strange to think: how afraid are you? We thought that they got the irony of it. I guess not.”

Comedy is acting out optimism.

Cricket is basically baseball on valium.

[on his acting career] All the new people you meet, it’s pretty amazing. The vampire needs new blood. And there is still a lot to learn and there is always great stuff out there. Even mistakes can be wonderful.

[on Stephen Merchant] He’s eight foot tall, has stupid glasses, awful hair, but it makes me look good, which is why he’s in the series. We look so strange on screen together as well. The height difference is ridiculous. I want people to know that he is a freak and I’m the normal one. Don’t look at this and go, ‘What? Didn’t know Ricky was a dwarf.’ I’m not. He’s the weird one.

With the war and everything that’s going on, unless you’re Susan Sarandon, the best route is to keep your mouth shut. For me it is, anyway!

Freud: If it’s not one thing, it’s your mother.

[on accepting his CBE] I owe everything to the musicians I work with. From the UK to Africa to Tennessee, it is their brilliance that I bounce off. Alone I’m nothing.

People say, Kanye he’s so crazy, he’s this, he’s that. People call you crazy so much you start to believe it yourself.

Everybody I know in England was raised on Mose Allison.

A lot of people can’t stand touring but to me it’s like breathing. I do it because I’m driven to do it.

I’m often mistaken for Spanish or Latin descent.

It’s difficult when you’re successful, to admit that you need help.

If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important rule of beauty, which is: who cares?

I don’t feel crazy any more! It was always like – it’s going to be one of two things, either i’m crazy or everybody else is.

That is quite difficult. In the book and also my first introduction of the script is like “an absurdly handsome 17-year-old” and it kind of puts you off a little bit, when you’re trying to act, and you’re trying to get good angles to look good looking and stuff.

If you’re an actor and you don’t get cast in stuff a lot, then put together a show or hold play-reading nights at your apartment. Make your own opportunities.

I’m not trying to save the world. As a musician and artist, it just ain’t me.

Trump hasn’t said one crazy thing, he’s said thousands of crazy things, each of which blunts the effect of the others.