Robin Williams

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.

Ballet: Men wearing pants so tight that you can tell what religion they are.

Freud: If it’s not one thing, it’s your mother.

Spring is nature’s way of saying, “Let’s party!”

You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.

[to troops in Iraq] I’m looking at a group of heavily armed people here. I’m telling myself ‘if you’re not funny, it’s a problem’

People care more about being thought to have taste than about being thought either good, clever or amiable.

It is very strange, and very melancholy, that the paucity of human pleasures should persuade us ever to call hunting one of them.

We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it – and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again – and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.

I would not give half a guinea to live under one form of government rather than another. It is of no moment to the happiness of an individual.

I believe in the limitlessness of humans. We’re capable of incredible things. At times that realization is frightening.

Events tend to recur in cycles.

Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.

Prosperity is the best protector of principle.

Esther liked books out where everyone could see them, a sort of graphic index to the intricate labyrinth of her mind arrayed to impress the most casual guest, a system of immediate introduction which she had found to obtain in a number of grimy intellectual households in Greenwich Village.

Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.

Measure your health by your sympathy with morning and spring. If there is no response in you to the awakening of nature – if the prospect of an early morning walk does not banish sleep, if the warble of the first bluebird does not thrill you – know that the morning and spring of your life are past. Thus may you feel your pulse.

No comment is a splendid expression. I am using it again and again.

But the effect of her being on those around her was incalculably diffusive: for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.

If you live for people’s acceptance, you’ll die from their rejections.

The love of economy is the root of all virtue.