Randy Gage

Your mind makes a cruel master, but a generous servant.

If you want to make a million you don’t have to understand money, what you have to understand is people’s fears about money.

If money be not they servant, it will be thy master. The covetous man cannot so properly be said to possess wealth, as that may be said to possess him.

There are few ways in which a man can be more innocently employed than in getting money.

Money is the opposite of the weather. Nobody talks about it, but everybody does something about it.

It’s money. I remember it from when I was single!

I don’t wake up for less than $10,000 a day.

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

The best thing I know about me, is that I’m rich

You fool! You’re 30 cents away from having a quarter!

I made my money the old-fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died!

I’m bout this shmoney!

Ah, yes, divorce … from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet

Money will buy you a fine dog, but only love can make it wag its tail!

Whoever thinks that money can’t buy happiness . . . just doesn’t know where to shop!

The waste of money cures itself, for soon there is no more to waste.