Let us not be too particular; it is better to have old secondhand diamonds than none at all.
I would rather have my ignorance than another man’s knowledge, because I have so much of it.
Man – a creature made at the end of the week’s work when God was tired.
In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.
Sacred cows make the best hamburger.
Prophesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks.
I take my only exercise acting as a pallbearer at the funerals of my friends who exercise regularly.
Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.
He is now rising from affluence to poverty.
Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.
Intellectual work is misnamed; it is a pleasure, a dissipation, and is its own highest reward.
A man’s character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.
To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did; I ought to know because I’ve done it a thousand times.
God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
All you need to be a success is ignorance and self confidence.
It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native criminal class except Congress.
If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.
Plain question and plain answer make the shortest road out of most perplexities.
Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.
Never let formal education get in the way of your learning.
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