Mark Twain

We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world; and its efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don’t know anything and can’t read.

Monarchies, aristocracies, and religions are all based upon that large defect in your race – the individual’s distrust of his neighbor, and his desire, for safety’s or comfort’s sake, to stand well in his neighbor’s eye. These institutions will always remain, and always flourish, and always oppress you, affront you, and degrade you, because you will always be and remain slaves of minorities. There was never a country where the majority of the people were in their secret hearts loyal to any of these institutions.

Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial “we.”

What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin

There is nothing you can say in answer to a compliment. I have been complimented myself a great many times, and they always embarrass me-I always feel that they have not said enough.

Who prays for Satan? Who, in 1,800 years, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?

Words are only painted fire; a look is the fire itself.

All heiresses are beautiful.

Leaders inspire. They aren’t assigned leadership. They command it.

I am become death, shatterer of worlds.

Anytime I want to feel closer to the ocean, I just lay by your side and listen to the waves ebb and swell in every breath you give and take, and feel each one crash inside of me. I knew from the first time I saw you that whoever said empty shells carried the ocean’s songs had never met you before.

The farther you look back, the farther you can look ahead.

When the mind is perfectly clear, what is is what we want.

Many unkind people have done kind things. Doing acts of kindness is not the same as occupying kindness, of being kindness.

There is joy in work. There is no happiness except in the realization that we have accomplished something.

I believe in 100% Theory and 100% Practice. Theory without practical application is futile.

I am not young enough to know everything.

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face.

Pain is the price you pay for resisting life.

The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession.

It is just good practice to do a situational scan and have situational awareness when you are out in the world.