Mark Twain

I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough.

Pessimism is only the name that men of weak nerve give to wisdom.

Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.

What a wee little part of a person’s life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself. All day long, the mill of his brain is grinding, and his thoughts, not those of other things, are his history. These are his life, and they are not written. Everyday would make a whole book of 80,000 words – 365 books a year. Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man – the biography of the man himself cannot be written.

What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.

The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.

To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart.

Self-realization is effortless. What you are trying to find is what you already are.

The triumphs of peace have been in some proximity to war. Whilst the hand was still familiar with the sword-hilt, whilst the habits of the camp were still visible in the port and complexion of the gentleman, his intellectual power culminated; the compression and tension of these stern conditions is a training for the finest and softest arts, and can rarely be compensated in tranquil times, except by some analogous vigor drawn from occupations as hardy as war.

Zeal ever follows an appearance of truth, and the assured are too apt to be warm; but it is their weak side in argument; zeal being better shown against sin than persons, or their mistakes.

Though wisdom cannot be gotten for gold, still less can be gotten without it.

Why was the human race created? Or at least why wasn’t something creditable created in place of it? God had His opportunity. He could have made a reputation. But no, He must commit this grotesque folly – a lark which must have cost Him a regret or two when He came to think it over and observe effects.

It were Happy if we studied Nature more in natural Things; and acted according to Nature; whose rules are few, plain and most reasonable.

Let the people think they govern and they will be governed.

All say, How hard it is that we have to die – a strange complaint to come from the mouths of people who have had to live.

I have been brought up and trained to have the utmost contempt for people who get drunk.

Thinking will not overcome fear but action will.

Round numbers are always false.

Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.

Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle. And so we must straighten our backs and work for our freedom. A man can’t ride you unless your back is bent.

Covetousness is the greatest of monsters, as well as the root of all evil.