Mark Twain

When you ascend the hill of prosperity, may you not meet a friend.

When one has tasted it Watermelon he knows what the angels eat.

There are German songs which can make a stranger to the language cry.

What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing, he knew nobody had said it before.

Nothing so needs reforming as other people’s habits.

There are lies, damned lies and statistics.

Let your literary compositions be kept from the public eye for nine years.

Be virtuous and you will be eccentric.

Burning logs can carry on quite a conversation! … Have you ever heard apple wood talking? It’s the most loquacious of all. You really can’t get a word in edgeways.

He that hath wife and children hath given hostages to fortune; for they are impediments to great enterprises, either of virtue or mischief.

He is great who is what he is from nature, and who never reminds us of others.

Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never learn anything from history.

Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.

I don’t think the human mind can comprehend the past and the future. They are both just illusions that can manipulate you into thinking theres some kind of change.

There is no private life which has not been determined by a wider public life.

He gains everyone’s approval who mixes the pleasant with the useful.

People who are truly strong lift others up. People who are truly powerful bring others together.

What right have I to grieve, who have not ceased to wonder?

It is the power of the mind to be unconquerable.

Paradise Lost is a book that, once put down, is very hard to pick up again.

In fine, he that is drunk is not a Man: Because he is so long void of Reason, that distinguishes a Man from a Beast.