When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
Grief can take care of itself; but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.
The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.
A habit cannot be tossed out the window; it must be coaxed down the stairs a step at a time.
Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
If the desire to kill and the opportunity to kill came always together, who would escape hanging?
Damn the subjunctive. It brings all our writers to shame.
By what right has the dog come to be regarded as a noble animal? The more brutal and cruel and unjust you are to him the more your fawning and adoring slave he becomes; whereas, if you shamefully misuse a cat once she will always maintain a dignified reserve toward you afterward-you will never get her full confidence again.
Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied.
The most interesting information come from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.
You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
If you don’t read the newspaper, you’re uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you’re mis-informed.
The man who is ostentatious of his modesty is twin to the statue that wears a fig-leaf.
Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
Don’t part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.
The Public is merely a multiplied “me”.
Forget and forgive. This is not difficult when properly understood. It means forget inconvenient duties, then forgive yourself for forgetting. By rigid practice and stern determination, it comes easy.
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old.
Wit and Humor – if any difference, it is in duration – lightning and electric light. Same material, apparently; but one is vivid, and can do damage – the other fools along and enjoys elaboration.
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