Mark Twain

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.

It is difference of opinion that makes horse races.

Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run. Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

[Moving to the West] was a culture shock. I had never seen cereal before! We had cottage cheese and pancakes in Russia, not colorful circles that came in cardboard boxes.

Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.

A powerful agent is the right word. Whenever we come upon one of those intensely right words… the resulting effect is physical as well as spiritual, and electrically prompt.

Coaching your wife is like trying to baptize a cat.

I can only say that I have had a wonderful life.

With all the wealth of the world at hand, there are human beings who hunger, whole nations who suffer cold. The judgment for this condition, for misusing Nature’s gifts, is the judgment upon man’s failure, man’s unsteadiness. Leadership is the thing.

I think I am actually humble. I think I’m much more humble than you would understand.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired thinking.

Don’t ever confuse the two, your life and your work. The second is only part of the first.

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

At the end of the day, whether or not those people are comfortable with how you’re living your life doesn’t matter. What matters is whether you’re comfortable with it.

Those are my principles. If you don’t like them I have others.

The basically simple things are best, whether it’s automobiles or diets or philosophy.

Learn when’s a good time to shut up.

He was a man, take him for all in all, I shall not look upon his like again.