Mark Twain

We have the best government that money can buy.

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion – several of them. He is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and cuts his throat if his theology isn’t straight. He has made a graveyard of the globe in trying his honest best to smooth his brother’s path to happiness and heaven.

The master minds of all nations, in all ages, have sprung in affluent multitude from the mass of the nation, and from the mass of the nation only – not from its privileged classes.

Sacred cows make the best hamburger.

In heaven all the interesting people are missing.

You can do very little with faith, but you can do nothing without it.

It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.

I believe in God, but not as one thing, not as an old man in the sky. I believe that what people call God is something in all of us. I believe that what Jesus and Mohammed and Buddha and all the rest said was right. It’s just that the translations have gone wrong.

I’m essentially agnostic. I don’t have a problem with God. I have a problem with religion. I’ve chosen to live my life without the certainties of religious faith. I think they’re dangerous. Music is something that gives my life value and spiritual solace.

If it turns out that there is a God, I don’t think that he’s evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he’s an underachiever.

I have a bit of supernatural take on life. For a moment, I went over to the other side. Since then, I can feel the presence of the departed. I’m very sensitive to it.

Believe in something larger than yourself…get involved in the big ideas of your time.

Which is it, is man one of God’s blunders or is God one of man’s?

The whole secret of existence is to have no fear.

Being neededdoes not entail selfish pride or unhealthy attachment to the worldly esteem of others. Rather, it consists of a natural human hunger to serve our fellow men and women.

Inspiring others towards happiness brings you happiness.

The fact that more people have been slaughtered in the name of religion than any other single reason. That, that my friends, that is true perversion!

Music brought me closer to the idea of God.

Before enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment; chop wood, carry water.