Mark Twain

It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native criminal class except Congress.

George Washington, as a boy, was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth. He could not even lie.

It is difference of opinion that makes horse races.

Be virtuous and you will be eccentric.

The cross of the Legion of Honor has been conferred on me. However, few escape that distinction.

There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.

The Zen expression Kill the Buddha!” means to kill any concept of the Buddha as something apart from oneself.

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.

The ordinary mind is the way.

It ain’t those parts of the Bible that I can’t understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand.

A mind committed to compassion is like an overflowing reservoir – a constant source of energy, determination and kindness.

We can do no great things, only small things with great love.

All religions are founded on the fear of the many and the cleverness of the few.

If we could get all religions together on a common purpose-the elimination of jealousies and the things that make men covet another’s belongings, we would be a long way toward the goal of outmoding war, depression and poverty.

Methuselah lived to be 969 years old . You boys and girls will see more in the next fifty years than Methuselah saw in his whole lifetime.

Our prayers should be for blessings in general, for God knows best what is good for us.

Tao in the world is like a river flowing home to the sea.

We’ve had the goddam Ages of Faith, we’ve had the goddam Age of Reason. This is the Age of Publicity.

To understand everything is to forgive everything.

To be calm is the highest achievement of the self.

If God lived on earth, people would break his windows.