Mark Twain

If you have nothing to say, say nothing.

Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

The cat, having sat upon a hot stove lid, will not sit upon a hot stove lid again. But he won’t sit upon a cold stove lid, either.

Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

The trouble with you Chicago people is that you think you are the best people down here, whereas you are merely the most numerous.

Drag your thoughts away from your troubles… by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.

It is not best that we should all think alike; it is a difference of opinion that makes horse races.

Great hearts steadily send forth the secret forces that incessantly draw great events.

There is no odor so bad as that which arises from goodness tainted.

In every great time there is some one idea at work which is more powerful than any other, and which shapes the events of the time and determines their ultimate issues.

Children sweeten labours, but they make misfortunes more bitter.

A wise man will make haste to forgive, because he knows the true value of time, and will not suffer it to pass away in unnecessary pain.

Claret is the liquor for boys; port for men; but he who aspires to be a hero must drink brandy.

Enthusiasm is the mother of effort, and without it nothing great was ever achieved.

What we learn only through the ears makes less impression upon our minds than what is presented to the trustworthy eye.

It’s all that the young can do for the old, to shock them and keep them up to date.

One who is injured ought not to return the injury, for on no account can it be right to do an injustice; and it is not right to return an injury, or to do evil to any man, however much we have suffered from him.

As soon as beauty is sought not from religion and love, but for pleasure, it degrades the seeker.

Beware when the great God lets loose a thinker on this planet.

Haven’t you learned yet that I put something more than whisky into my speeches.

You perceive I generalize with intrepidity from single instances. It is the tourist’s custom.