Mark Twain

Of the delights of this world, man cares most for sexual intercourse. He will go to any length for it-risk fortune, character, reputation, life itself.

Fueling your body is a process… The secret of getting ahead is getting started.

Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation.

Drag your thoughts away from your troubles… by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.

It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.

Often the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth.

If a man could say nothing against a character but what he can prove, history could not be written.

Every man will be a poet if he can; otherwise a philosopher or man of science. This proves the superiority of the poet.

Beauty without expression is boring.

If we do not maintain Justice, Justice will not maintain us.

The best armor is to keep out of gunshot.

Men are respectable only as they respect.

Fine manners need the support of fine manners in others.

The government who robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.

Heaven is the work of the best and kindest men and women. Hell is the work of prigs, pedants and professional truth-tellers. The world is an attempt to make the best of Heaven and Hell.

Friends… they cherish one another’s hopes. They are kind to one another’s dreams.

You will know (the good from the bad) when you are calm, at peace. Passive.

Give us the tools, and we will finish the job.

People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can’t find them, make them.

A friend who cannot at a pinch remember a thing or two that never happened is as bad as one who does not know how to forget.

Skepticism is unbelief in cause and effect.