Mark Twain

Everything has its limit – iron ore cannot be educated into gold.

The older we grow the greater becomes our wonder at how much ignorance one can contain without bursting one’s clothes.

We may not pay Satan reverence, for that would be indiscreet, but we can at least respect his talents.

Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

Prophesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks.

Never let formal education get in the way of your learning.

When I hear about negative and false attacks, I really don’t invest any energy in them, because I know who I am.

What I try to keep in mind is that there are going to be a lot of articles that are going to be misrepresentative of what I’m about as a person and as a writer.

The media is really, the word, I think one of the greatest of all terms I’ve come up with is fake. I guess other people have used it perhaps over the years, but I’ve never noticed it.

We want someone to bring us the news.

Arianna Huffington is unattractive both inside and out. I fully understand why her former husband left her for a man – he made a good decision.

Television enables you to be entertained in your home by people you wouldn’t have in your home.

With the press there is no ‘off the record’.

Television is the first truly democratic culture – the first culture available to everybody and entirely governed by what the people want. The most terrifying thing is what people do want.

My people keep telling me I shouldn’t write letters like this to critics. The way I see it, critics get to say what they want to about my work, so why shouldn’t I be able to say what I want to about theirs?

My Twitter has become so powerful that I can actually make my enemies tell the truth.

Contrary to what a lot of people think, I don’t enjoy doing press. I’ve been asked the same questions a million times now, and I don’t particularly like talking about my personal life.

There’s so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?

If you are a little different, or a little outrageous, or if you do things that are bold or controversial, the press is going to write about you.

If you get good ratings, they’ll cover you even if you have nothing to say.

The point is that if you are a little different, or a little outrageous, or if you do things that are bold or controversial, the press is going to write about you.