Robin Williams

Ah, yes, divorce … from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet

Spring is nature’s way of saying, “Let’s party!”

You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.

Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money.

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.

Cricket is basically baseball on valium.

Then I got a call the next day from the assistant director saying that they were putting me on a personal training programme. I thought that would be pretty cool, because it would make me take it seriously. It was run by one of the stunt team, who are the most absurdly fit guys inthe world. I can’t even do 10 press ups. I did about three weeks of that, and in the end I think he got so bored of trying to force me to do it that he wrote it all down so that I could do it at home.

We lived the life with Keith Moon. It was all Spinal Tap magnified a thousand times.

People want to try and move you into a place where you can be easily identifiable by every woman in America – to be this very likable woman in a romantic comedy. And it’s really hard for me. I just don’t see myself as the girl that everybody likes. I never have been and I don’t know how to be that person.

One failed attempt at a shoe bomb and we all take off our shoes at the airport. Thirty-one school shootings since Columbine and no change in our regulation of guns.

Chris Rock once said something that was really interesting. He said, “Women would run the world if they didn’t hate each other.” That’s the only thing preventing us from running this entire planet, that we hate each other!

I’m a restless guy who’s happy to be restless. I find that I’m always inquiring and I’m always in the middle of new situations. It’s just life experience, I guess. But I’ve been around quite a while.

I have no talent except for being able to enjoy and recognize it in others.

Do you know how many women get systematically blackballed out of their positions in an office building and can’t fight back?

I am a big Jeff Richmond fan.

So I’ve realized that this outfit is part of Richard Petty now. And the real Richard Petty is still hidden behind these glasses.

I think it’s a responsibility, but like Tupac Shakur, I’m a real model. Which means: I’m not pretending to be something that I’m not, because like he said, people are going to be disappointed when they find out who you are, because it’s not going to be what you presented to the world. So just keep it real. I’m a good kid and that’s all.

For some reason, I like seeing people feel emotional.

I feel like true icons shift music, uplift music, switch music, have the balls to take a chance.

I think I’m prone to panic.

Looking after your ears is unfortunately something you don’t think about until there’s a problem.